Monday, November 14, 2011


I had the best of intentions but a very busy week has kept me away from posting much at all!
Last week was filled with appointments, school things and alot of sick kids and a very tired mommy! Everyone has been fighting off a nasty cold, cough and sore throat bug that seems to be going around! Over the last week, I have been thankful for many things, instead of going day by day to catch up, I would like to just list some things that I've found myself being thankful and happy for this last week.

I am thankful for my midwife that delivered Grace, I saw her last week and was again reminded of the care, compassion and support that she has shown me since March.
I am thankful for my son Tyler's teacher at school, I had a conference with her last week and I just have to say I am so very thankful he is in her class, it is right where I think he needs to be!
I am so thankful for my mother. We've had our share of rough times, but I am truly blessed to have her. She has been an immense help since March and I love the way she loves my children.
I am thankful for the Veterans of our country, I am thankful for the sacrifice of them and thier families. Having been a Navy family for 9 years I truly appreciate all they do.
I am thankful for my husband job/coworkers. I am thankful that he is able to work with such caring and supportive people who make his workday better.
I am thankful for my mother in law. She as well has been a huge help the last few months as well!
I am thankful for the life I have been given. Adam and I got married when we were 19 and 20 and over the last 9 years we have been through alot, alot more than alot of people will ever go through in thier entire lives but we always come out better because of it. I am thankful that I know that, and that I know that someday we will be able to say that about losing Grace, it's far off I know but I am thankful I have him to help me through this and am glad that he is the one that the Lord chose for me.

Despite everyone having pretty yucky coughs and colds we had a great weekend! Usually we put our Christmas tree up and Adam's village up either the day after Thanksgiving or the day after our 2nd sons birthday, the fisrt week of December but Adam kept asking if we could do it earlier since last year we were moving at Christmas time we didn't put it up. So I said "why not?" and we put it all up this weekend and I had so much fun with my kids and husband eating cookies, drinking cocoa and decorating! We were given Groupons for the African Safari wildlife park that is about an hour away so we took the kids to that yesterday and it was just a great time! You drive through and can feed Llama's Deer, Buffalo, Moose, and Texas longhorns food through your windows! It was crazy. They made huge messes in our van and stuck thier heads right in and it was just so funny, definately not something we had ever expirienced!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Days 6 and 7

Nov 6
I am thankful for my kids having friends that they love to play with right in our neighborhood. When we lived in Connecticut, we had a great neighborhood of friends. Alot of kids around the same ages and play levels, parents who we could connect with and alot of fun and memories were had.
When we moved back to Ohio 16 months ago, we did NOT have that, we didn't know or trust our neighbors, the parents had no interests in what their kids were up to and so the kids were up to no good and not good for our kids. When we moved into our new house, we suspected that there would be alot of kids for ours to play with, but in the dead of winter, it's hard to make new friends!
The summer has been filled with playing with neighbors and I am so very thankful that my boys have some great friends to grow up with!

Nov 7.
I am so thankful for Tyler. My first baby. I'm not sure how he got to be 7 years old, the time has flown by too quickly and I'd love for it to slow down. Tyler was my little buddy, not becoming a big brother until he was close to 3. When Adam was at sea for months at a time, it was me and Tyler by ourselves. Tyler took losing Grace so very hard and I am so glad that recently he is doing so much better. He is such a sweet boy and I am so proud of the little man he is becoming. He is so smart and creative and kind and I am blessed to be his mother!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

30 Days of Thanks, Days 4 and 5

My goodness,I certainly tried to post yesterday and blogger was being very finicky for some reason. Alas I am catching up again.
Day 4.
 I am thankful for this little guy. My middle son, Iain. Iain is by far one of my biggest challenges in parenting. He was such an easy baby, he nursed easily, slept well, didn't cry much and was always just so calm. I thought we were so lucky to have such an easy time with him! When he hit about a year though? Boy did things change! He is one big ball of energy and will. I'm not sure if there is anyone as headstrong as this boy. But oh is he such a joy as well! Iain is hilarious and his heart is huge. Some of the things that he says just make me laugh so much and I love his snuggles. He is very much a mama's boy right now, I'm not sure I've ever seen a more clingy child but it's ok. He's not quite 5 yet and I don't mind him needing to stick close to me right now. I am so very thankful for my sweet boy.

Day 5
I am so thankful for this man. The last 11 years of my life have been amazing because of Adam. He is an amazing father to our children and wonderful provider for our family. He is an amazing husband. He is my best friend. Today he took the boys and I got a haircut and had some quiet time at home, and I am so thankful that he is MY husband!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

30 Days of Thanks Days 2&3

Well goodness already off to a rough start! I was going to blog last night after the boys went tobed, and I ended up going to sleep at 9pm after I got them all in bed! So two days today!

Day 2.
I am thankful for the kindess of strangers.
Throughout Grace's life and now after, we have become aware of many people who we do not know praying and thinking of us. Some have done such wonderful things for our family. I am so thankful for many people who have introuduced themselves to us because of our girl.

Last night was a pizza party for Iain and Isaacs soccer team that they played on during August, September and October. It is just a team through the YMCA but the coach wanted to do a little something extra for the kids and it was so nice. While we were there, the coach and another mom started talking about the number of kids they had. They said to me "you just have these 3?" and after momemtarily panicking, I gathered my courage and I said "No, actually I have 4. I have a daughter as well but she passed away in August." To be honest, oftentimes even with people close to me, if I mention Grace it's like I just said something awful and the conversation ends and I've made people uncomfortable. But last night? With two women who I've not really spoken much more than greetings to at soccer was different. They both said they were sorry and then the one mom asked how old she was and I talked about her. Then she asked what her name was. That might not sound like anything big, but it is. To have a stranger wonder what her name was, and for me to speak it. It just made my heart feel good. I am thankful for thier kindness.

Day 3
I am thankful for the people in this picture. Without them, I would not have been able to make it through losing Grace. You see, more than even my longest friends, the people in this picture unfortunately know exactly how I feel. We all lost our babies within 6 weeks of each other, our babies all lived thier entire lives in the same NICU and now live thier eternal lives together in Heaven. They probably don't know just how much being able to text, email, facebook and see them has gotten me through this. Though I hate the circumstances under which we all met, I am forever thankful for them.

                                                      A little sunshine on a chilly day!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

30 Days of Thanks. Day 1.

I hit a rough patch recently, I don't know why I was just so sad. Missing Grace so much. I need to greive her but I also need to be together for the children I do have at home. Something that got me through the very begining (besides shock I guess!) was I forced myself to focus on the wonderful times I had with Grace. Like to think about and be thankful for the amazing snuggles she gave me, or for the smiles I had from her, or from the times when she made it obvious that she wanted ME! To focus on that instead of everything I will never have with her, did help me. I think I got out of the habit of that, and just thought of everything I didn't have with her. So, in an effort to keep myself on track and count my blessings I am going to try to write each day about somehting that I am thankful for. I do truly have alot to be thankful for. I don't have my beautiful girl, but I am not left with nothing.

Today I am thankful for living in a wonderful neighborhood with great neighbors. I feel safe in my neighborhood and didn't worry about what kinds of people were passing out candy to my 3 sons and nephew last night. I love the company of another neighbor while walking. After Grace died, my neighbors all brought us food and have prayed for us and supported us at Grace's memorial. I am very thankful for living where we do.